John Mayer, "The Heart of Life"
An iPod on shuffle can be a wonderful thing. Sometimes it's like that little machine is reading my mind and my heart, or that it knows even better than I do what I want to hear, what I need to hear. I was tucked up in my bed, doing some late-night writing earlier this week when this song came on. It had been a long time since I'd heard it, but after that lovely surprise playing it's been on repeat for most of this week.
On principle I don't much like John Mayer - he seems to be the typical case of a "sensitive", talented singer-songwriter letting fame and money go to his head. Now he just seems like a dick. But I can't deny that I love that smoky, husky voice of his, and his songwriting really is quite good. His melodies are interesting but catchy, and always very pretty. His lyrics are touching, and they're different and creative enough to save them from being overly cheesy.
I think I like this song because it's simple, but has a beautiful melody, a soothing guitar rhythm. All of that reminds me a little of growing up at folk festivals, being obliged (not too unwillingly) to sing at family jam sessions. There something about a pretty tune sung in a pleasing voice accompanied by little more than acoustic guitar that just gets right down into my soul. And even though the electric guitar in this song takes away from that a little bit, that feeling is still there.
This song first came to me on a mix CD from a now-long-lost friend while we were in college. Hearing it again reminded me so much of her and the friendship we had -- we went through quite a bit in our respective lives while we were close and supported each other unquestioningly throughout. It makes me sad, though, to think that the friendship is lost.
The lyrics speak to me on a lot of levels -- I've been through the ringer over the last few months -- no, not just the ringer. The washing machine, the ringer, the dryer, the iron, the press, the dry-cleaning-chemical-process...how many other violent laundry metaphors are there? Anyway, the words mean a lot to me at the moment. First came the crises, one after another, beating my heart to a pulp; then came the grief, the absolute misery, and helplessness. And while things are not back to normal by any means, I'm making plans for the future and finding things to look forward to. I'm enjoying the small things in my life that make me happy. February is always the toughest month, you've got to be resourceful.
And this song has reminded me of a person who was very dear to me at one point. I've hesitated about getting back in touch for a long time -- grudges and hard feelings don't die easily -- and especially because "Hi, remember me? My life is absolute shit because of x,y, and z, want to be friends again?" doesn't make the nicest first contact. But as a mutual friend said recently, if anyone would appreciate an email like that it would be her. So maybe in light of recent losses in my life, it's time to start gaining again. And if I've learned anything from living abroad and going through the hell of the last few months, it's that true "kindred spirits" (to quote Anne of Green Gables) are few and far between in this life -- so hold on to them when they come into your life, and fight your hardest to get them back if they slip away. "The Heart of Life" has to be good, after all, doesn't it?
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